I'm new, what advice would you give
The most common questions newbies ask
The most common questions sent to the UB email address are from people who are new, want to get into the scene and are looking for advice.
Our top tips below:
Have a read of the UB Website
Add your name to the Mailing List
Speak to a Greeter
Look at our Resources Section
Come to an Event
What happens at a UB Party
Look after your safety online
Safety and more Safety - Guides
"I am not your Mother" understand what Personal Responsibility is
FetLife - Tips
The most popular kink website is FetLife: https://fetlife.com/users/sign_in
Set up a profile and fill it in
Choose an appropriate profile picture
- not a dick pic or left blank
Join the Christchurch Uncommon Bonds Group: https://fetlife.com/groups/38899
Think of your safety
- do not use your real name or show face pics
Think of the content and how you wish to be viewed and what you are looking for online
Read the FetLife Formatting Guide to help add style
Setting up the correct location, this will help you find Events in the NEAR YOU tab
If you are being harassed by a user
- use the BLOCK USER function
Set up and review your default Privacy Settings
SIDEBAR - SETTINGS - PRIVACY
View some tips on setting up your FetLife Profile
FAQ - Frequently Asked Questions
How do I find a top/bottom/sub/play....partner?
Set up a good Fetlife Profile, be honest in what you are looking for, be polite, meet people at a Munch, ask questions, help out at events. Be active and be seen.
Why get involved with UB?
Learn from real life people rather than online. Is easier to ask people questions in a safe and skilled environment.
Are there many younger / older people in UB?
UB has a wide range of people aged from 18 - 80+. Hard to say who will be at what event.
Is UB LGBT Friendly?
UB is accepting of all people, no matter how they identify (be it gender, orientation, or interests)
I'm coming to a party, will someone play with me?
Nobody is paid, nobody is forced, nobody is obligated to play with you.
It all depends on how you connect with people and the connections you make in the group. We always advise people to come to a Munch meet people and take an Orientation & Etiquette workshop, you can then get a feel for the group and start to make friends.
How does UB Work?
There are many different activities:.
Munches: these are the second Tuesday of each month they are a social ‘vanilla’ catchup where it’s a good chance to get to know people and chat. We also run through the groups finances, what events have been and what’s coming up
SIGs - Special Interest Groups - there should be a list on the UB website but some include sub SIG, S/M (sadist/masochist), equipment (for maintaining the UB equipment and help with projects), femme dommes, rope
Workshops - these are for a specific thing eg electro play or impact. Which is a great way to learn about play and then there’s a chance to try it out.
The rope group also has weekly classes.
A UB Steering and Ethics Committee oversee group activities.
What do I wear to an event?
Read this article on what to wear for each type of event
What is "Personal Responsibility"?
It is your responsibility to take measures for your own safety and how you conduct yourself
How to I attend/sit an Orientation & etiquette Workshop?
These are available after the formal part of the Munch, held the second Tuesday of the Month.
I want to buys some toys/rope/latex where would you recommend?
Read this article on Kinky Supplies
I have anxiety and worried about attending events?
Please read the Munch information, this explains what happens at the event to help prepare you.
Munches are an ideal place to meet people in a public, vanilla location. This is a great starting point to obtain and orientation and make friends.
Like every other group, making friends is your responsibility.
Once you have made friends and know more people, then look at other events like SIGs, Workshops and Parties.
The UB Admin team are asked for advice on this topic .... a lot!
Sometimes we get replies back and other times radio silence.
To make it easier for everyone this page was set up, to help give a little guidance.
UB Admins don't get paid, they do this to help the community, please be respectful of this.